I'm not really a cat person. I have a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel named Louie who occupies the special place in my heart reserved for furry things. But I do have a cat named Mishka that I like. He is weird. Truly. I have watched him sit and stare at a blank wall. Of course, you have to wonder about me watching a cat watching a wall. But...oh never mind. I'm weird too. I admit it.
Now, Mishka doesn't actually talk to me. That would be really weird. And probably unbelievable. But I know what he is saying most of the time. I remember when he was a kitten and I took him to get neutered. He said, 'AWEEEMEOWWWAWA." Which means "I am going to kill you when we get home." No, he actually didn't try to kill me right away. Cats know that revenge is a dish best served cold. He cashed in on his threat about 6 months later when he latched onto my hand with teeth and claws as I gave him a bath. I can still feel that bite 4 years later, and I haven't bathed him since. We began to understand one another at this point. Since then I always take him to a professional groomer who always tells me how well behaved he is for his bath. Mishka always smirks at me when she says that.
He's not always malevolent. Sometimes he comes and sits on my lap and puts his head on my shoulder and purrs happily. This worked out pretty well until we got Louie. Now whenever the cat gets in my lap, Louie tries to come join him, and then the fun games begin where I try get away while they play the game, 'ThisIsMYMomAndYouNeedToLeave'. It is a game for three players, but I don't usually like it much.
Last weekend we took a trip home and I boarded Louie. My cat does not like to be boarded. He is an inside/outside cat, which means that he goes inside or outside every time the door opens. So when we take a short trip, we prop the door to the garage to give him shelter, and leave him plenty of food and water and he is much happier out than when we have tried keeping him indoors for days. (I know this because if he stays in too long he pees on my favorite chair in order to tell me not to do this in the future.)
So as we were preparing to leave, I had the kids make sure Mishka was out of the house before we locked up. But by the time we were pulling out, I wondered if he had somehow made his way back in, so we stopped while I called his name to see if he appeared. He did not answer me or come to me, but as I walked around the house I saw him sitting in the front behind a bush, staring accusingly at me. I know what he was saying. "So, you are off again on a fabulous trip and think that I will not notice your absence, do you? I will remember, my lady. Oh yes, I will remember." At this point of the conversation, he casually flexed his extended paw and licked it to dismiss me, but he and I both knew the message had been given. We both know what a long memory he has.
So what does all this have to do with dieting and weight loss? Weight loss plans are like cats. They speak their own language, fill you with dread, and eventually deliver on their promise at some unknown future date. I am three days in and I have heard whispers of hunger, promises for the future, and a good bit of staring at blank walls for no obvious reason. But the scale finally dropped down over a pound, so I'm pretty sure that means I'm winning. For now.
Dieting is not always fun, but what can you do? Diets seem to have more than 9 lives, and I'm pretty sure if they could talk they would try to be the boss of me. Which is kind of the point. Where is that cat, anyway?
